This process is messy. Some days I know what I’m doing and other days, I’m not so sure.
Most days, I feel naked and exposed. Perhaps, because this process comes with a lot of stripping back. It has stripped back the personas I hid behind; the false bravado I put on to survive the jungle that is life.
Don’t get it twisted, I didn’t think starting my own business would be a walk in the park but I certainly underestimated how much it was going to tear me apart, though in a good way.
Imagine having a to-do list staring at you when it suddenly dawns on you that you’re lacking the skills needed to execute. Do I tell myself I’m not qualified or do I ask myself how to bridge the skills gap?
Imagine sending emails to people you’d like to partner/collaborate with but it’s weeks after and still no response. I could either get deflated and say this wasn’t meant to be or I could remind myself that it’s not personal and a follow-up email wouldn’t hurt.
Imagine going to a networking event and when you’re asked “So what do you do?”, it occurs to you to that you’re not even sure you believe in what it is you say you do. And what’s worse, the listener picks up on that too. Do I shrivel up in embarrassment or do I take a step back and ask myself WHY? – why did you go into business? why is this important to you? is it even important to you?
The mindset of a business person is nothing like the mindset of an employee. I know what I’m saying because I have experience on both sides. When I was an employee, I didn’t have to bear any real risk. As a business owner, my name and reputation is on the line with every decision that needs to be made and then it dawns on me that this is not a game to me.
This messy process, that sometimes feels like schizophrenia (I have to talk to myself on days when I don’t feel like I’ll make it) with a hint of multiple personality disorder (I’m a one-man team for now, go figure!) and a splash of insecurities (because everyone else suddenly looks more successful than you), is certainly not a game.
It’s not a game because this path is fleshing out what I’ve come to understand is a part of my purpose and how I fulfil God’s calling on my life.
The process is messy but it’s not meant to discourage you. It’s meant to stretch you and mould you and break you in places that are repressively stiff. It’s meant to bend you to fit into every mental suit because all your battles will have to be won in the mind first if you are to maximise the chances of you achieving all you possibly can.
I chose this journey with my eyes wide open. I have no regrets and I have nothing to prove. I just have a part to play in changing the world and I want to start early, not when I’m 50 and suddenly have that kind of epiphany that high-earning executives wait to have after so many years in their corporate professions. No, I’m not shading them – this is what happens.
Anyway, I have so much to share and I’ve been noting them down on my somewhat forced blogging hiatus. So if you’ve ever wanted to get an insight into the early stages of starting a business from someone who is right in the middle of it, I offer myself on a platter.
But beware, it’s going to be extremely messy. That much, I can promise you.
P.s. I’m not going to have time to send newsletters very often so please subscribe to the blog (see sidebar) to get a notification whenever I post. Next post is out on Monday, 1st May 2017!
P.s.s. Feel free to ask relevant questions too!